I Hate the Mantra "Time Heals All"...

My best friend and I were having a conversation about healing. My friend said something that really stuck with me:

"I hate the saying 'time heals all.' Time is not intentional, it just moves. People are intentional."

Shortly after our conversation, I was hit with a revelation that brought it full-circle for me.

So I am working with a physical trainer. My schedule and mental capacity is filled with other things, so I know that I won't do well to try to come up with effective workouts or eating. But my health and physical fitness is a priority, so I've decided to work with a personal trainer.

My trainer went on vacation for a week or two, so I OBVIOUSLY didn't work out in her absence. Ha! The first day that we were back to training I knew it was going to be difficult. But as I was doing a particular exercise I was becoming very irritable. I knew it was completely my fault that I'd slacked off while she was away but I was having such a hard time getting through the workout. I stopped so many times and many times I wanted to just give up and leave. The way she asked me to place my body was so uncomfortable and it made the exercise very hard to do. So I started going through the motions and was being kind of sloppy.

She stopped me in the middle of the set and said, "I don't want to say you're being sloppy but you have to have more control over your body and focus on a particular muscle or you won't get the results that this exercise is suppose to produce.

Then it completely hit me! This is the same concept for the healing process. When we go through any kind of trauma or setback, many of us think that time will do all the work to heal the wounds. This is a total LIE! While we are healing, we have to make a very intentional effort to develop particular skills so that we can get the results that the trial, trauma or hardship was allowed into our lives to produce. Whether it be to learn how to discern certain things before we get hurt, to learn to set boundaries, to be quicker to forgive, to speak up when we know something needs to be said, the list can go on.

This may be a bit harsh. But a lot of people are walking around thinking that they are strong because lived through something. But the strength truly comes from allowing the hardships to make you a better person. Not by ignoring pain or becoming "hard" or heartless. The strength is in practicing forgiveness, kindness, compassion, and giving while you're going through it so you become a better version of yourself. Anyone can resort to being heartless or vengeful when they've been done wrong but

it takes strength to be a loving person when you've been hurt by people.

The Bible says that "in this world you will have trouble. It is a guarantee. The challenge is to be open to changing for the better through our trouble and pain.

I challenge you and myself to strive to do more than survive. Let every thing you live through make you a better person. (I'm not saying be someone's fool. Allow seeing how cruel people can be to sharpen your discernment. Don't ignore red flags, separate yourself from bad situations at the onset.) But allow the things you do go through to make you better.

Forgiveness and kindness are not one time things, despite how some make it sound. It is a choice everyday. Some days I don't choose forgiveness (just like I don't choose the gym) even though I chose it 3 days prior. It is an ongoing decision to walk in love and to develop those "character" and "spiritual" muscles. So with that being said, "Let's get it in! Let us work to focus on being a better version of ourselves as we get through every challenge we come up against.